The sooner you realize and accept this, the better off you’ll be in the long run.
During the last 2-3 days I have kept the conversations a little bit cold since he only texts me to say good night and then says I am going to sleep (this only during this week). I kept it cold again and said I have plans for Saturday. I said just: I would love to…:) Then he dissapeared on Sunday. Im committed to moving on but think about him everyday. I’d admit now I had trust issues, I didn’t want to let him in and now I know why.
Is this because of me being a little bit cold (but I have reasons because I consider it disrespect when smn says I am going to sleep now) or what? If smn looses interest why asks to do smth on weekend. I miss him like mad but i can no longer give him the best of me when he dips out all the time. We were talking everyday, he met my kids and we finally made it official.
Sometimes I didn’t realise men were interested in me and I ghosted them unintentionally when it turned out they were interested, so, I have done the ghosting myself. He began to slither away, but we would always get back together. So, I am making the effort to work on myself, mentally I feel great.
Thing is, everyone talking on this forum about being ghosted has probably done it themselves to others whether you realise it or not!!! It’s not just, “I met the greatest person and I’m so sad they weren’t into me.” Let emotion take a back seat, enjoy your life, take into consideration that you are still a catch, that you too have power (not just the person who decided to leave) and you should weigh up LOGISTICALLY whether they were actually, indeed, right for you. 3 weeks ago when I was in the hospital for a week after suffering my first seizures while at work, my ghost had had enough. I am finally sleeping and feeling rested allows me to make better decisions, I know I didn’t do anything wrong, so it’s his loss.
Just because you meet someone and they don’t turn out to be who you thought or they disappointed you because they didn’t behave a certain way or meet certain expectations doesn’t mean that it wasn’t worth it. Not infatuation, which is what fools us most the time, and infatuation plays a BIG part when you first meet someone. but I haven’t heard a peep from him in 2 weeks, whereas, we used to communicate 15 times per day. What ever his reason(s) may be, he’s being a jerk, which is a side I never saw in him when we were dating, but by the Grace of God, I see his true colors.
We get too caught up in reality Bachelor/ette romance crap, love at first sight fantasies, Disney stuff, the fairytales that have been spoon-fed to us since kids or we read magazines about guys not calling you back because they’re not ‘that into you’, or girls not calling for the same reasons. I’ve been ghosted PLENTY of times by men but that’s not to say I haven’t ghosted guys either – and also probably when I wasn’t aware I was doing it! He is 57 and I am 51; this isn’t some lovestruck teenybopper relationship and one would think that at our age, we would know better to play games like ghosting. Now, if he got sick, of course I would be by his side, we promised we would never leave each other, and we had so many plans as a new family.
He told me it was a slight chance I could be pregnant and yeah I got mad but it was as much as my fault as his. No calls, no messages, deleted me off his social media, I’m hurt. People aren’t definable, relationships aren’t definable. We meet someone, we go head on into “being serious”. As a woman I’ve been told by magazines, reality shows, media that relationships are this or that but the real deal is, humans are too complex to be fit into criteria.
We get too caught up in how people are supposed to act and our expectations continually suffer because of it. What is a certainty is that you can always keep being plugged into your own life, at all times. Genuine respect, friendship, emotional connection is important when you first meet someone you might like.
I know it’s hard to accept, especially if you really liked this guy, but you really do need to just trust that it’s for the best.
Why would you want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you anyway? You want to be with a guy who can’t believe his luck that a girl like you would choose him! He may have left you, don’t let him take your dignity with him.
And most of the time, they will reason that the girl is probably on the same page so there is no need to reach out.