As a psychology and counseling major, I’ve heard the term “self-esteem” quite a bit.
There are marriages where it is freely done and the spouse knows about it (I highly disagree with this as well), but for the most part you will find that the one looking at porn is keeping it under wraps.
Lies of any sort can rip a marriage apart, but lies about porn are sneaky ones that often take a while to come out into the open.
I would also argue that looking at porn is a self-worth issue for both men women. He has taken away the lies and silence that held my husband for so many years before he told me about his struggle.
When one becomes upset with him/herself, going into “another world” can be an easy escape from reality—one that always appears to fulfill and bring pleasure no matter what the real-life circumstances may be. He has restored our self-worth and made us feel like royal children (as we all are! He has completely brought back all intimacy that was lost and not only that, has made it better!
But when we sin, or those we love sin against us, we rarely feel anything close to the attributes of holiness and righteousness.
This is most often an issue for the wife whose husband is struggling with porn.
It can be great, it can be happy, but it can also be hard.
finds pornographic messages being sent between his wife and another man via a social network.
One sip, one look, and it can be a downhill journey once again. I pray you take them to heart and know that none of us are immune to the affects.
Invite anyone into your marriage—past, present, or future—and that person will always be somewhere in your mind. If a man sees an image of a naked woman, what happens when he sees his wife naked in a few hours?
He may begin to believe that sex with his wife is not quite as exciting as the scripted scene he had witnessed before.